I went to a conference about building Christian Community this weekend in Haight Ashbury that rocked my freakin world. I was rather unexcited about going to earlier in the week. I thought I was going to be forced to be social when all of my relational energy had been sucked dry by the 6th graders in my life. My friend John was afraid it was going to be a bit cultish and weird and that everyone was going to try to convince him to live in a big commune. I told him we were having pot pies and Kool-Aid for lunch and he almost walked out the door. That made me feel a little better. The weekend was filled with new friends and fascinating humans. One of the most interesting people I met was Rick the Zen Buddhist priest. He was part of the Jesus movement during the 70's and got burned out and became Jewish and then switched over to Buddhism. He said that in the past year God has had other ideas, and that he has had a growing hunger to learn to love like Jesus loves. He knows his scripture too. I found him very humble and thoughtful. He asked us who was the king of 100 rivers as he sat on the ground looking up at us. He said the sea, because it lies below them. Likewise if we are to be the greatest we must humble ourselves to become lower than those we serve. When I talked he really listened. He was completely present with me and cared about what I had to say and to be honest it freaked me out.
A lot of the people surrounding me in this huge mansion on the corner of Fell and Lyon are members of an intentional community called Seven. There are people in the community that are artists and writers and musicians. Devoted to creating beauty in a sometimes very ugly world. There are people that use their degrees and education to create and promote social justice. They free modern day slaves and get amnesty for immigrants that have been displaced by tribal massacres. They are all about serving and loving and living like Jesus. A lovely British woman just washed my feet. I t felt strangely normal and wonderful. She implored me to sit next to her because she said she hadn't shaved her legs in a while and didn't want a guy to be her partner. She obviously doesn't know much about west Sonoma county. Or my roommates for example. Hairy legs are not foreign concept to me.
I am surrounded by like minded people that are all in pursuit of creating intentional community in the way of Jesus. This is very important because I feel safe and at home here. No one will think I am weird, which is a rather uncommon occurence in my life. I am starting to realize that maybe it's not that I am weird, it's just that I am swimming in the pond with a different species of ducks. Today I am with other odd ducks. It is nice to be with people who are like me.
Everyone is very trendy and educated and use big words like orthopraxy. Sarah is planning to set up a sting in SFO to stop trafficking of humans in a modern day slave trade. She calls herself an abolitionist. There is a also a girl called Trendy Amy. She shares my name and certain aspects of my personality including my sometimes manic extroversion. For a vacation she wants to go to the poverty centers of the world and work with the people there and help them make their lives better. Not to tell them how much smarter and better the American way is, but to serve them within their culture and traditions. To honor the beauty that lies within the way their people live and move and have their being.
Listening to Mark talk about the need to have healthy people in your community really dialed up a lot of my stuff. They talked about how sometimes in stages of healing we have to go through processes of deconstruction followed by reconstruction. The tearing down of the old and the building up of the new. The pure, the right, what we were meant to be and how we were meant to live and interact with other children of God. I started to wonder if my deconstruction is a drain on my community. I had to go upstairs and think for a while and God had to yell in my ear. The lies that I thought were gone for good have been sneaking back and whispering to me lately. God told me I am in a stage of rebuilding right now. The deconstruction has past. He said that I have infinite value and intrinsic worth that any community would be blessed by. I am loved. I am strong. I am a gift. My story is one of the power of reconciliation and healing. I must have no shame about my past. That I am the daughter of a king.
Mark says that leadership requires a healthy sense of your own value, and the courage to do the next thing that follows the way of Jesus. They say that you can only give to others what you already have. This dude James decided not to eat out for 40 days. Another girl didn't buy clothes for a year. Sarah didn't wear makeup or jewelry for 2 months to help her realize that her beauty and worth does not come from outward adornment but through her worth in Christ Jesus. I really want to do that too. She said it brings freedom. I am afraid but I am committed. I know it will be hard for me and I don't know why. I guess I have always been the pretty girl and if I am not pretty than what am I? Where does true beauty come from? I know where but I am not willing to acknowledge it at this time. I wonder who will still think I am pretty when I am not all painted. Will boys still hug me and tell me I am beautiful? Emily went to India to free prostitutes and help them live like normal women. She said in India only prostitutes wear makeup. She found it troubling that these women adorned themselves to be sold to men, and how she now sees that American women do the same. The currency is just different. And we resort to much more drastic, painful, and silicone measures to sell ourselves.
Traffic and ambulances drown out the shares and struggles of the leader and the people here. These are people like me. People whose prayers sometimes consist of just the F word and are devoted to being in the middle of the battlefields of the world. They teach cooking classes in the Tenderloin and eat with their hands out of habit from living in West Africa for so long. They are beautiful and raw and real and revolutionaries in emergent Christianity. They talk about the fact that there are 1000 steps to leadership, that leadership is wrought and born out of a beingness that transcends from within and flows out to those around you. It starts with washing feet and leaning in when someone is telling a story. Staying present with people. Living for others rather than self. Leading like Jesus. Adam says that leadership is something that is granted to you from the community. We talked earlier today about woundedness and deconstruction and reconstruction and who is healthy to have in your intentional community. I started to think about my woundedness and whether or not I was taking away from my community. What I have damaged and how important it is to protect my village. To be samurai. A class of warrior devoted to protecting what is most dear. James points out that everyone wants the cool sexy parts of leadership. Not the getting your heart ripped out by people you love part. Not the foot washing part. Because let's face it, feet gross me out. But I washed British Elaine's feet and it was awesome. I want to spend my life washing feet.
A lot of the people surrounding me in this huge mansion on the corner of Fell and Lyon are members of an intentional community called Seven. There are people in the community that are artists and writers and musicians. Devoted to creating beauty in a sometimes very ugly world. There are people that use their degrees and education to create and promote social justice. They free modern day slaves and get amnesty for immigrants that have been displaced by tribal massacres. They are all about serving and loving and living like Jesus. A lovely British woman just washed my feet. I t felt strangely normal and wonderful. She implored me to sit next to her because she said she hadn't shaved her legs in a while and didn't want a guy to be her partner. She obviously doesn't know much about west Sonoma county. Or my roommates for example. Hairy legs are not foreign concept to me.
I am surrounded by like minded people that are all in pursuit of creating intentional community in the way of Jesus. This is very important because I feel safe and at home here. No one will think I am weird, which is a rather uncommon occurence in my life. I am starting to realize that maybe it's not that I am weird, it's just that I am swimming in the pond with a different species of ducks. Today I am with other odd ducks. It is nice to be with people who are like me.
Everyone is very trendy and educated and use big words like orthopraxy. Sarah is planning to set up a sting in SFO to stop trafficking of humans in a modern day slave trade. She calls herself an abolitionist. There is a also a girl called Trendy Amy. She shares my name and certain aspects of my personality including my sometimes manic extroversion. For a vacation she wants to go to the poverty centers of the world and work with the people there and help them make their lives better. Not to tell them how much smarter and better the American way is, but to serve them within their culture and traditions. To honor the beauty that lies within the way their people live and move and have their being.
Listening to Mark talk about the need to have healthy people in your community really dialed up a lot of my stuff. They talked about how sometimes in stages of healing we have to go through processes of deconstruction followed by reconstruction. The tearing down of the old and the building up of the new. The pure, the right, what we were meant to be and how we were meant to live and interact with other children of God. I started to wonder if my deconstruction is a drain on my community. I had to go upstairs and think for a while and God had to yell in my ear. The lies that I thought were gone for good have been sneaking back and whispering to me lately. God told me I am in a stage of rebuilding right now. The deconstruction has past. He said that I have infinite value and intrinsic worth that any community would be blessed by. I am loved. I am strong. I am a gift. My story is one of the power of reconciliation and healing. I must have no shame about my past. That I am the daughter of a king.
Mark says that leadership requires a healthy sense of your own value, and the courage to do the next thing that follows the way of Jesus. They say that you can only give to others what you already have. This dude James decided not to eat out for 40 days. Another girl didn't buy clothes for a year. Sarah didn't wear makeup or jewelry for 2 months to help her realize that her beauty and worth does not come from outward adornment but through her worth in Christ Jesus. I really want to do that too. She said it brings freedom. I am afraid but I am committed. I know it will be hard for me and I don't know why. I guess I have always been the pretty girl and if I am not pretty than what am I? Where does true beauty come from? I know where but I am not willing to acknowledge it at this time. I wonder who will still think I am pretty when I am not all painted. Will boys still hug me and tell me I am beautiful? Emily went to India to free prostitutes and help them live like normal women. She said in India only prostitutes wear makeup. She found it troubling that these women adorned themselves to be sold to men, and how she now sees that American women do the same. The currency is just different. And we resort to much more drastic, painful, and silicone measures to sell ourselves.
Traffic and ambulances drown out the shares and struggles of the leader and the people here. These are people like me. People whose prayers sometimes consist of just the F word and are devoted to being in the middle of the battlefields of the world. They teach cooking classes in the Tenderloin and eat with their hands out of habit from living in West Africa for so long. They are beautiful and raw and real and revolutionaries in emergent Christianity. They talk about the fact that there are 1000 steps to leadership, that leadership is wrought and born out of a beingness that transcends from within and flows out to those around you. It starts with washing feet and leaning in when someone is telling a story. Staying present with people. Living for others rather than self. Leading like Jesus. Adam says that leadership is something that is granted to you from the community. We talked earlier today about woundedness and deconstruction and reconstruction and who is healthy to have in your intentional community. I started to think about my woundedness and whether or not I was taking away from my community. What I have damaged and how important it is to protect my village. To be samurai. A class of warrior devoted to protecting what is most dear. James points out that everyone wants the cool sexy parts of leadership. Not the getting your heart ripped out by people you love part. Not the foot washing part. Because let's face it, feet gross me out. But I washed British Elaine's feet and it was awesome. I want to spend my life washing feet.
How'd I end up dating the coolest girl ever?
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