Amy Warrior Princess

A few years ago in November I did a leadership development seminar in San Diego. Halfway through the week we were taken to the desert and told that our task was to hike to the top of a mountain in silence. We were to find five items on our journey that represented things in our life that we wanted to be rid of and throw them off the top as a symbol of release and surrender.

About ten minutes into the trek two of the guys in the group started running up the hill, and rather than be left behind looking like a loser I started my sprint up a 4,000 foot mountain in the blazing sun. What should have been a personal growth exercise that was intended to help me let go of the past, present, and future had now turned into a Corporate Gladiator contest. I had something to prove and I wanted to prove it. (Thankfully I did get some insight out of the exercise - I realized I would rather almost kill myself than look like I can't keep up with the boys.) The best part was who I was up against: it was the little swing dancer that could from a very high altitude versus an Olympic skier, a football coach, and my favorite, 80's Body Builder Mike.

Body Builder Mike definitely "did not front" as we say in the upstairs annex. Probably in his early fifties, he was wearing those awesome printed pants like the Rex Kwan Do guy in Napoleon Dynamite, a muscle shirt with the sleeves cut off, and had one of the most fantastic mullets I have ever seen in my life. He slowly started to gain on me and I basically thought he was there to pass me up and take my dignity. I thought he was there to prove that I wasn't the fastest and best in the group. But he was a kind gentle man who saw the panic in my eyes as I raced to prove that I was good enough and he asked if we could finish together. He walked beside me and told me it was an honor to do so. Then he told me something I will never forget - that I was a warrior princess.

I laughed and thought of Xena and hairy dwarves at first but then I remembered a prayer I had prayed a while back. One of those seemingly harmless prayers that seem like a good idea at the time but after thinking it through I realize that there is a whole lot more to the bargain than what I thought about. A while back I prayed for God to make me more like David. I was thinking more along the lines of a woman after His own heart, but then one time in the middle of my own personal spiritual Normandy I remembered who David really was. First and foremost he was a warrior-a warrior who spent most of his time being hunted down, fearing for his life, and hiding in caves. Stupid prayer. If anyone ever wonders where I am don't forget to check under the bridge.A wise man once told me that the root of all stress is expectation, when we expect things to look different than the way they turn out. The slings and arrows of misfortune have a tendency to pierce the heart at times and bring with it the pain of self-doubt and rob us of our strength. You love someone who doesn't love you back. You try to accomplish something new and it fails. Businesses bankrupt. Bodies grow old and sick. People we are close to move on and leave us behind. All these things contribute to a deeper wound that we feel some days will never heal. David knew these things all too well. He dealt with more than enough tragedy in his life. But God is faithful, and as David wrote, the Lord heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.

David was one of the most joyful and passionate men in the Bible. He loved God so much that he took off his clothes and danced naked in the streets in worship. (Much to the dismay of his wife of course, hell hath no fury like a woman embarrassed in front of the neighbors). According to Pastor Mark from Elevate, David's secret, "whether hiding in a cave, or dancing in the streets, David let God take care of Him. He understood that children shouldn't tell their parents how to run their lives; parents teach their children how to live. And we are the children of God." Despite the fact that he spent most of his life fearing for it and still occasionally sinning enough to make a Soprano blush, David chose to trust God in all circumstances and lived a long and rich life. He loved God with every step he took and every psalm he wrote, and God blessed him for it. David chose love for his Maker over fear of those that can destroy the body but not the soul. Rather than ask for an easier life he asked to become a stronger person. I also believe David was firmly rooted in his identity in God. He knew he was made in the image of a powerful warrior God, Yahweh Nissi, a loving and terrifying deity who is not safe, but who is good and who is love. When I forget all these things and find myself hiding in caves when no one is after me I simply have to ask myself "who am I?" I am the daughter of a king. I am blessed with every spiritual blessing. I am chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world. I am a queen with an endowment and the beloved of the Most High. I am a warrior princess. I have the fingerprints of God covering my mind and my soul. And so do you. Go forth today and slay the spirits of doubt and fear, and may God provide balm for your wounds, victory in your battles, and streets for you to dance in. And wives for you to embarrass.